When I can't think no more, and the thoughts crowd my head, I let them out, one at a time, and after sorting them, put them back together again…in order to begin entangling another web!

Archive for the month “May, 2011”

Accepting Change

Guidance for today:

When there is too much pain we cannot lean back into our true power and experience our energy of love. Only the power of pure love, unconditional love or love of God, can help us to get rid of the suppressed pain inside the subconscious. When you live through a situation that causes pain in you, you have to love yourself, stabilize yourself and enter into silence. Observe that pain without being afraid of it. Observe it to let go of it and understand what it is that it brings about in you.
The answer, generally, is connected with others: “He/she doesn’t love me anymore and that’s why I feel pain”, “Things are not like they were before”, “The company of this loved one doesn’t give me the benefits it was giving me before”.

If a person loved you and now has stopped loving you, does that make you feel pain? Or is it your own expectation and your desire for that person to keep on valuing you or loving you like before that trap you in pain? Is it that you don’t accept change? The truth is, we bring on suffering ourselves. If you don’t want to make yourself suffer, starting from now you do not have to bear any more suffering. Nobody can wound you or can cause you pain, except if you allow it. So how do you allow it? By being a vacuum that sucks in everything of the other, the good and the bad, and you suffer. It is expectations from our loved one that make us vulnerable to the experience of suffering.


  1. Observe pain without fear and slowly let it go. Watch it leave you bit by bit.
  2. Love, not possess.
  3. Be patient with problems to resolve them completely. It will take time to mend relationships and change perceptions.
  4. Give feedback positively. No sarcasm, no taunts.
  5. Focus on the growth of the people who need guidance and mentoring – children, team members, students, etc.
  6. Be strong to remove the negatives.
  7. Be stronger to bring in positive changes – cook, chant, take care of parents, etc.
  8. Write, organize, prioritize, follow through.

And I continue…

… to make restarts.

Status check:

  • Gym and dance class – more times than last week, feel better
  • Chanting – twice daily, feel awesome
  • Crying – almost zero, feel confused – do I not care, or am I being wise?

Note – Feel better after guidance from the leaders – they say i am not losing focus, i am getting stronger, and doing more for others, and that will increase good karma for me.

  • Occupying my time constructively:
    • Redoing my apartment – One room done. Well almost, because either I should change the table or at least its glass. Let’s see if I will like anything in my budget ever! Next is the living room. Maybe I’ll just get a black leatherite three-seater, cut off the top of an almirah to form a table/cabinet – polished black walnut, add a carpet/rug, and put in another bean bag (yeah one’s already there). Also want to get a chattai and make cushiony seat for the balcony to have my morning tea and read the newspaper, or sometimes a book if the weather permits.
    • Watched “An Education” – excellent!
    • Read “Two girls in blue” – very good!

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